


What She Wants (But Not What She Needs)

by SpathiDromeas12



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: BAMF Melinda May, BAMF Phil Coulson, But I Don't Know If It Fits The Story, F/M, How Do I Tag, I Tried, I'm Bad At Titles, My First AO3 Post, My First Work in This Fandom, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post 4x14, Tags Are Hard
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-17
Updated: 2017-02-16
Packaged: 2018-09-24 21:20:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,383
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9787430
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpathiDromeas12/pseuds/SpathiDromeas12
Summary: Melinda May wakes up in a very different timeline. Apparently Murphy's law doesn't exist there, because a lot of things didn't happen the same way. This should make her suspicious. She knows how all of these events really went, and the past isn't supposed to change overnight. Except, she doesn't remember the past. Not the one that belongs to her, anyways. All she knows is that she's suddenly very uncomfortable living a life that has everything that she wants, because it doesn't have what she really needs. She needs him. She'd follow him to the grave. But she can't do that from here.Meanwhile, Phillip Coulson embarks on what appears to be a wild goose chase around the world trying to find her. But he's got an ace up his sleeve, and he's just waiting for the right time to use it. Although he really needs to work on his timing, because he's only just realized that he's in love with her. He really wants to find her so that he can tell her that. So he'll keep working. He won't let her go. Because she means everything to him. He needs her. But he can't reach her.Or: Phil and May are trying to have the reunion we've been waiting for. But first, they have to escape their own minds.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, so this is my first fic on Ao3! I've been spectating from the background for a while, but today, I decided to try my hand at writing an actual story. So, I hope you enjoy the first chapter! - Spathi

"Melinda? Honey, wake up." She groaned and opened her eyes, blinking rapidly as they adjusted to the light. Her vision cleared, and her husband's face came into focus.

"Everything okay? You don't usually sleep that deeply." he asked, eyebrows contracted in concern. She smiled gently at him as she sat up.

"I'm fine, Andrew. I must have been more exhausted then usual last night." she replied.

Truthfully, she felt a little odd. But she didn't want to worry him. Andrew's face relaxed, and he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"That's good to hear." he responded. Melinda slipped out of the bed, and left the bedroom, padding down the hall towards the kitchen. There, she found her adoptive daughter, Katya, sitting at the table.

"Hey, Mom! You're up late." the eighteen year old greeted cheerfully. Melinda rolled her eyes.

"Is it really that strange that I slept in a little today?" she wondered, shaking her head.

"Of course it is. You're always up by six in the morning, doing Tai Chi." Katya pointed out.

"And you've been doing this even before I met you. It's part of your daily routine." Andrew added.

"Okay, fine. I guess it is kind of weird." she relented. Her husband passed her a mug of tea, and she kissed him on the cheek, slipping past him to grab a bite to eat. As she sat down at the table with her daughter, she smiled involuntarily.

Her life was wonderful. She had everything she'd ever wanted. She'd been married to Andrew for over a decade, and their relationship was still going strong. Katya was on break from S.H.I.E.L.D.'s Communications Academy. Phil was-

She paused.

"Where's Phil?" she questioned, furrowing her brow in confusion.

"He moved to Portland when he got married to Audrey Nathan. But you two haven't talked for a long time." Andrew answered slowly. Melinda frowned.

"Why is that?" she asked.

"I'm not sure. You just told me that you guys had just grown apart." Andrew answered. The concerned expression was back on his face.

"Are you sure that you're alright?" he pressed. Melinda nodded.

"I'm fine. I just- I'm having a bit of an off day today." she replied.

"Okay. If you're absolutely sure..." her husband replied. He didn't looked convinced, but he dropped the subject anyways. Melinda started eating, although she wasn't very hungry.  Something felt wrong about her surroundings. It felt too perfect; things were going really well. And in her experience, that meant that something big was about to happen.

After she'd finished her breakfast, she went outside to do some Tai Chi. Years of muscle memory allowed her to move through the forms without even thinking about them.

She breathed in and out slowly, but she couldn't focus. Her mind was racing, trying to figure out why things weren't adding up.

Why hadn't she remembered what had happened between her and Phil?

Why did her instincts keep warning her of danger?

And why did she feel like a piece of herself was missing?

Melinda had no idea what the answers to those questions were, but she was getting the feeling that she'd soon find out.

Until then, she'd have to continue her life as usual. But it wasn't going to be easy. She'd been rather uncomfortable eating breakfast with Andrew and Katya. She felt as if she didn't know them. She remembered all the times she'd shared with the two, but somehow, Melinda herself didn't fit into the puzzle.

Strangely, she didn't really want to.

* * *

He'd been pounding away at a punching bag when Daisy showed up.

"Any luck?" he asked hopefully.

"No. The submarine disappeared without a trace." Daisy sighed, and he clenched his fists tightly.

"Dammit. We need to find her!" he growled. 

"I'm going to head down to the labs. Maybe Fitzsimmons has an idea." she said softly. She walked out of the room. Phil whirled on the bag and started punching it harder. He'd forgotten to wrap his hands; there was blood running down his fingers from where his skin had split, but he didn't care. He didn't mind the pain, because right now, all of his emotions had been drowned out.

All except one.

Rage.

It had taken him  _years_ to finally figure out that the bond he shared with Melinda May ran deeper than just friendship. And just when he'd finally summoned up all the courage he required and started to make a move, it all went to hell.

He'd kissed her, and for that one moment, he was on top of the world. Because kissing her felt right. She made everything alright. And then, it wasn't. Because May wasn't actually May. No, she was (in Daisy's words) a freaking robot.

Which meant that the real May had been held captive for weeks, and he hadn't noticed. Now he'd finally noticed, but she was _still_ in the hands of the enemy. And it was all his fault.

Because while he was chatting up her LMD, she'd been plugged into the Framework. A place that was essentially the Matrix, where she could live her entire life and not know that it was all a lie.

A place where she could actually be happy. And the worst thing was that he was going to have to rip her away from it.

He was so selfish. She'd gone through so much because of him. Because she'd promised that she would always have his back.

How often has he had hers?

Phil yelled in frustration, slamming his fists even harder into the bag. After several more minutes, he threw a powerful uppercut, which actually unhooked the bag from the chain and caused it to hit the ground with a heavy  _thump_.

He just stood there for a minute, breathing heavily. Blood dripped onto the mat as he stared down at the fallen bag, his hands still balled into fists.

Rage gave way to determination, and he exhaled deeply. His mind was clearer now, his thoughts less frenzied and angry.

He knew what exactly he was going to do, although he wasn't sure how he was going to do it. But he had three goals.

First, he was going to find Melinda May.

Then, he was going to dismantle AIDA. And give Radcliffe a good punch to the teeth. (He would do more, but he wasn't sure whether Radcliffe had gone crazy because of the Darkhold or not. So, he'd decided to reserve judgement on the mad scientist.)

Finally, he was going to tell Melinda how he felt, and take her on a vacation. They deserved a break from all of this crap.

But before he could do that, he needed to figure out how to get out of this damn simulation.

"At least I'm not in the Framework." he muttered under his breath. He was pretty sure he wasn't, anyways. Because he was not feeling calm and happy in the slightest. Actually, he was feeling rather aggressive.

Phil had to admit, it made sense. He assumed that the plan was to have him keep searching for May in his head, making sure that he would never be able to find her. It would have worked too, if not for a slight flaw. The person who had put him into the simulation had ignored one minor detail. And it just so happened that this detail bothered Phil every day.

He inspected his bloody and bruised hands, and smiled. They'd forgotten to give him a prosthetic.

The thing is, the prosthetic had never felt right. Phil had learned to ignore it, but it was kind of hard to miss such an uncomfortable feeling. When Fitzsimmons plugged him into their Framework, he'd immediately noticed the change then. He noticed it the second he woke up in the simulation as well.

Phil sighed and rehooked the bag onto the chain. Then, he left the room, thinking furiously.

He needed to get out of the simulation. But he couldn't be too obvious about it, because if his captors in the real world noticed anything, he'd lose the only advantage he had.

Luckily for him, the simulation seemed to mirror the real world exactly (with the exception of his hand).

Perhaps it was time to call in some old friends...

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah. Future chapters might be longer, but I think this was a good start! If you have any feedback, please let me know! - Spathi


End file.
